A Troubled Heart
by Luffylover87
Summary: Nami has a nightmare and is writhing in the confines of her bed screaming…The question is, who is she screaming for? Will Luffy be able to comfort her or will she be just out of his reach? Read and Find out!
1. The Nightmare

**A Troubled Heart**

Chapter 1: The Nightmare

By: Luffylover87

DISCLAIMER: I do not own One Piece! Eiichiro Oda does!

**Summary**: Nami has a nightmare and is writhing in the confines of her bed screaming…The question is, who is she screaming for? Will Luffy be able to comfort her or will she be just out of his reach? Read and Find out! (A/N: Oh BTW, Luffy is somewhat smart in here, I know lots of people prefer him to stay an idiot but I like him both ways! So beware! OOC-ness ahead for him and Nami!)

It was daytime aboard the Thousand Sunny and everything was normal…yes…Zoro remained up in the crow's nest lifting an ungodly amount of weight calling it 'training,' Sanji was busy kicking Luffy out of the kitchen and telling him to 'Go find someone else to bother!' Chopper was busy being amazed at Usopp's so-called 'manliness,' Brook was busy asking Robin to see her panties, and Franky remained below deck constructing some kind of new contraption…yes all was normal…

What about me you ask?

I had decided to stay in my room under the pretext of 'map-making;' however, all was definitely not alright considering it was the anniversary of the day my mother, Bellemere, was killed right in front of my eyes…The absolute terror I felt as I watched her hit the ground with blood seeping through the very clothes that covered her body; despair spread throughout my body like wildfire…I was useless…and just thinking about it, still to this day, makes my blood run cold. I understand that I now have nakama to support me and be there for me but I can't shake that feeling of dread that one day they, along with Luffy, will be taken away from me and I will once again be thrust into a world of darkness with no chance of recovery. People say wounds heal with time, but I beg to differ. Heavily inflicted wounds leave scars, and those scars ache over time as a constant reminder of a past that will continue to haunt me.

~*~knock~*~knock~*~

"Who is it?"

"Nami-swan! Lunch is ready!"

I could almost see the hearts in Sanji's eyes through the door of Robin's and my sleeping quarters. Unfortunately his happiness was short-lived.

"Sorry Sanji…I'm not really hungry right now, could you just leave it aside for me later?"

"Are you feeling ok? Should I call Chopper?" Worry was clearly evident in his voice.

"No that's not needed, I just don't have much of an appetite right now, I will be sure to eat later, please tell the others not to worry."

Sanji was hesitant for a moment before he complied and walked away saying that he would be sure to 'safeguard some for her so Luffy couldn't get his grubby little hands on it.'

"(sigh) Luffy, huh?" I was beginning to reminisce once more as I recalled how Luffy rescued me from my prison cell and managed to beat up the warden, Arlong. Years of being lied to and being wrapped around his finger, all for the sake of my village…all gone…in an instant. Luffy was my solid foundation in which I put my whole-hearted trust in. If fate was cruel enough to take even that away from me, I honestly don't know how I would be able to move on. I could feel tears involuntarily slip down my face as I began to think the worst…what cruel scars awaited me on this journey? Do I even dare to venture to find out? I'm scared…

I laid down and decided that I should just take a nap and try to rid my head of all of the negative thoughts that plagued my mind, little did I know that I would only be engulfed in total, utter despair…

**~*~Nami's dream~*~**

Everything was pitch black and I couldn't even see two feet in front of me…

"Where am I?"

"Hello?"

"Is any body there?"

All of a sudden I heard a voice I was not familiar with… "It's your fault you know…"

"…W-what is…?" I had no idea what he was talking about…unsure, I let the mysterious voice continue.

"That they're dead…" My eyes widened. 'They're dead…meaning more than one…who could it…it couldn't possibly be…?'

"What are you talking about?" I was once again unsure if I really wanted to know the answer to that question, thus I was not prepared for the reply that was to hit me not a few seconds later.

"Are you so blind as to not see your crew lying at your feet…lifeless…" My eyes slowly traveled to the ground and soon everything came into focus. All she could do was scream as she took in the scene before her.

Zoro lay there stabbed through the heart by his own swords.

"…Zoro…"

Brook and Franky were shattered to pieces and lying amongst the dead bodies.

"…Franky…Brook…"

Robin lye on the ground next to Chopper, both of them completely mutilated to a point where it was almost hard to recognize them.

"…Robin…Chopper..."

Sanji and Usopp's bodies were disfigured in such a way that shouldn't be humanly possible.

"…Sanji…Usopp…?"

'Luffy! Where was Luffy?' I started to panic…

Luffy was the last one…he lay there a few feet away from her, just barely breathing…

"Luffy…? LUFFY…!" I ran over to his side and cradled his head within my arms.

"Luffy! What happened here?" I was in a frenzied state of shock and hysterics. Luffy was lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood, deep gashes marring his body causing his blood to flow freely.

"Th..ey…got..u..s…" Luffy said just barely above a whisper.

"WHO got you?"

"…Ma…rin..es…"

"…..what...but…how?"

I couldn't even begin understand what Marines could manage to cause so much damage. 'Was it one of the Admiral's? Aokiji? It couldn't have been Garp! Who? Who did this?'

"Its..al..l..yo..ur…fault…" Luffy said as his hands slowly made their way up to her neck and slowly began to apply pressure. "All…m..y..naka..ma..are…de..ad..b..ecau..se...of..you…I..ha..te..yo..u!" His eyes were darkened and he was giving me the exact same look he gave to his worst enemies…pure hatred. All I could do was shutter at the intensity of which he bored into my soul.

His grip was becoming tighter and it was getting harder to breathe.

"Luffy…please listen to me…I..didn't…" My hands could only pull effortlessly as his grip tightened once more.

"SH..UT..UP! I…Hate…You…and I..will NEVER…forgive you!" With one final squeeze Luffy's hands finally fell from her neck and dropped to the ground beside him, his body becoming lifeless like that of his crew…

"Luffy…Luffy…LUFFFFFYYYY! Nooooo….." He was gone…her one pillar of support that she thought she had…vanished.

"A lot a good that cheap bond called 'friendship' did, huh?" The unfamiliar voice only managed to snicker at her misfortune.

"GIVE THEM BACK! GIVE THEM BACK TO ME!"

"NO! **THEY'RE DEAD**! ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR INADEQUACY AND INABILITY TO DO ANYTHING! **THEY** WILL **NEVER** COME BACK!"

"Robin, Chopper, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, Brook, Franky…LUFFY! LUFFY! LUFFY! LUUUUFFFFFYYYY!"

_"…mi…na..mi…Nami…"_ The voice got ever louder. _"Nami..! Nami!"_

**~*~End of Dream~*~**

"LUFFY! LUFFY! LUFFY! LUFFY! LUFFY!"

"Captain-san! Do something please!" Robin was worried about Nami.

At first she was just tossing and turning while mumbling something incoherent that she couldn't quite hear, and then it eventually escalated to her screaming Luffy's name over and over. She had went to go and retrieve her captain, hence their current situation…

"Nami! OI! Nami wake up! It's just a bad dream! NAMI!" He began to shake her violently until finally, she awoke with a start tears lining her beautiful features. She looked over at Luffy…and before he even had a chance to say anything, she tackled him to her bed, her arms wrapped around his torso, crying into his chest.

Robin looked on, very concerned for her nakama's well-being.

Luffy was startled but eventually nodded towards Robin, telling her that everything was under control…Luffy then began to run his fingers through her short orange locks in attempts at calming her down.

"Shhh…everything's gonna be ok Nami…what was so frightening that it scared my navigator away?" Nami just continued to cry into his chest…the tears just wouldn't stop…

Luffy was getting kinda worried now; his normal, fearless navigator had been replaced with this fragile women trembling in his arms. 'What could have possibly scared her this much?'

"(hic)ou…(hic)ied…" Nami mumbled in between sobs.

"…what…? Oi, Nami I didn't hear you…" Nami then got up abruptly.

"YOU DIED! AND I WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED YOU!" The dam overflowed and the tears just kept falling onto her mattress, near Luffy's face. The little droplets coming from her eyes stunned him as he really began to take in what she just told him…he stayed silent…

"Everyone was gone…lying in pools of their own blood just staring at me with those lifeless eyes! Only you, Luffy, was I able to talk to before you departed from me too…and even then you told me…you told me-" She just couldn't finish it.

"Nami…" Luffy interrupted her but his voice was hesitant before he asked… "What did I say to you…?"

"…Please...no...I-" Nami pleaded.

Luffy sat up, took hold of her head with one hand and grabbed one of her free hands and placed it over his heart so she could see for herself that he was most definitely alive and kicking!

"Nami it's ok…everything is ok now…I'm here, right?…And I am very much alive…" Luffy looked directly into her coffee-colored eyes, his ebony ones not leaving hers so as to reassure her that he was with her and that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon… "What did I say to you..?"

*BA-THUMP* *BA-THUMP* *BA-THUMP* *BA-THUMP*

Nami could feel his heartbeat under her palm and was relieved somewhat…but having to tell him what he had said to her was going to be hard, considering it was very out of character for him to say something like that to one of his nakama…Surely he would be upset…

"(hic) You s-said that it was all my fault, (hic) that I w-was the one who took your nakama away and (hic) that you'll never f-forgive me…and then you slowly…put..yo..ur hands…aro..und..my..neck..and…"

Luffy then stopped her by putting a finger to her lips… "And tell me Nami…do you really believe I would do such a thing to you? That I would be able to go through with it? Killing you?" Luffy's eyes were shadowed by his bangs, no longer visible to Nami.

"…You never got a chance to…because you died right there in my arms…" She said barely above a whisper.

"…My only parting gift from you was the mark that your blood-stained hands had given me just a few minutes prior to your death…"

Luffy's eyes shot open as he looked at her…

"…I…died…in your arms…?" Luffy asked hesitantly.

Nami only managed to nod.

"Luffy…I'm frightened that one day everyone will be taken away from me and that I will be alone to suffer the consequences…just like when my village was taken away from me and I was thrust into a world of darkness, trying to stay alive.

Luffy could only pull her head slowly towards his chest, his hands caressing her orange locks, trying to apologize for his inadequacy to protect her and keep her safe.

"…I'm sorry that I wasn't able to protect you…it won't happen again…"

Nami nodded.

"Luffy…please stay here with me…I'm tired and I am scared that once I go to sleep, the dream will resurface and wreak havoc…for now…please…..just stay here…" Luffy only nodded and laid down with her, allowing her to get comfortable and pull the sheets over them. Placing his treasured straw hat up on the bedpost, he began to drift off, only to be interrupted by Nami pushing her body flush against his.

"Nami…what…"

"I just want to hear your heartbeat…so I can rest assured that you are alive…"

*BA-THUMP**BA-THUMP**BA-THUMP*

That was enough for Nami, hearing his strong, lively heartbeat. She then slowly began to drift off until Luffy finally heard her breathing even out and she was fast asleep, snuggled up against his chest. Luffy was lost in his thoughts, despite the extenuating circumstances that he found himself in.

'I can't even begin to imagine what that dream must have been like…everyone dead? Me trying to kill Nami? It must have been terrifying to lose people she loves all over again…but even more so than that, it seems my actions were the ones that caused the most damage. I...won't **ever** let that happen…rest assured Nami that you are safe here…' Luffy then drifted off himself, ready to face whatever came at him with an even greater resolve…

'I **will** protect everyone!'

A/N: So yeah this was my first fanfic…please tell me what you think…constructive criticism is most welcome! Should I keep going? Should I quit while I am ahead? Please rate and review! (^^) -Happy bird!


	2. The Aftermath

**A Troubled Heart**

Chapter 2: Aftermath

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece© Eiichiro Oda does! Oh the agony!

Summary: Nami has a nightmare and is writhing in the confines of her bed screaming…The question is, who is she screaming for? Will Luffy be able to comfort her or will she be just out of his reach? Read and Find out! (A/N: Oh BTW, Luffy is somewhat smart in here, I know lots of people prefer him to stay an idiot but I like him both ways! So beware! OOC-ness ahead for him and Nami!)

It was now morning and the sun slowly crept into Nami's bedroom where she and Luffy lay. The sun was beginning to rise and Nami's eyes slowly fluttered open as it hit her face, cajoling her to awaken. Her eyes slowly began to come into focus when all too soon she realized the…compromising position she found herself in: her legs were entwined with someone else's, their arms had been wrapped securely around her waist, and this person's face was tucked away into the crook of her neck, their steady breathing managing to hit a sensitive spot, causing her slight discomfort.

_'Who in the-?' _

Her thoughts were cut short as last night's events came rushing back to her.

The nightmare…

'_That's right everyone was…Luffy was…!' _She began to panic but was pulled from her thoughts as the other person began to shuffle around a bit. Little did she realize that her worries were not necessary…there were no questions as to who this person was, his signature straw-hat hanging from the bedpost gave him away.

'_Luffy…'_ A wave of relief washed over her as she felt his pulse.

*BA-THUMP**BA-THUMP**BA-THUMP*

'_And he's alive…thank goodness…'_ She was pulled out of her reverie as Luffy's grip on her tightened and he pulled her even closer to his person, his lips managing to come into contact with her neck.

"S'okay now…Nami….just a dream…."

Nami's cheeks turned a light shade of pink at her captain's actions. Her hands then slowly wedged themselves out of Luffy's grasp and made their way up to his head, where she slowly ran her fingers through his soft, ebony hair.

'_Under these circumstances, I would have definitely kicked you out of my bed and gave you a thorough beating, but it seems I was the one who caused the most trouble this time…Sorry Luffy…'_ Lost in her thoughts she continued to mindlessly run her fingers through his hair for a little while longer until finally she decided to stop. Upon ceasing her ministrations through his hair, she slowly snaked her arms around his neck.

"I'm so glad that you're alive…so glad…!" Her voice was quiet as a few lone tears slipped from her eyes. Her mind was becoming sleepy once more due to the strain the tears put on her but before she could protest, sleep overtook her.

**~*~With the rest of the crew~*~**

"Oi! Breakfast is ready!" Sanji's voice could be heard out on the deck where everyone was beginning their regular routines to start off their day, but something was different today…ah… a certain 'rubber for brains' captain was not present, hassling him for 'FOOD!' He looked around in an attempt to find their rubbery dolt but stopped when he spotted _'Robin-chwan.'_

"Robin-chwan!" Where are you going? I have a wonderful breakfast for you today!" His words dripped with a syrupy sweetness that could make any normal woman gag, but Robin took it in stride.

"I was just going to check on Navigator-san, it seems she is not awake yet…"

"Oh, I see…" Sanji then thought back to how Nami reacted when he offered her lunch last time.

'_She said she would eat it later, but when I came into the kitchen this morning…her food hadn't been touched…lunch or dinner…was everything really okay?' _

"Cook-san?" Robin inquired.

"No it's nothing, if you see Luffy will you tell him that breakfast is ready, knowing him, he'll cry forever knowing that he missed two meals yesterday…" Sanji then turned on his foot and began to walk away.

'_Yesterday…what __**was**__ Luffy doing most of the day? Usually he was in everybody's business but then Zoro had mentioned that he was at the back of the ship messing with the sharks that were following the ship, which is I guess something he would do…but to miss food over? I don't really buy it…for now though I'll let it slide…'_ When he was finally out of earshot, Robin turned around, heading towards her destination once again…her and Nami's room.

Upon her arrival, she was going to knock but stopped herself momentarily when she spotted the cute couple through the porthole. While she wanted to let them sleep a bit longer, she knew that the two of them had to eat considering both of them skipped lunch and dinner yesterday.

**~*~*KNOCK*KNOCK*~*~**

Luffy surprisingly, was the first to stir…his eyes fluttered open as he yawned, making themselves known to the world. He looked around and noticed the sleeping girl within his grasp, her arms wrapped securely around his neck. A tinge of pink adorned his features at their current position.

**~*~*KNOCK*KNOCK*~*~**

There it was again. His eyes slowly shifted to the door where the knocking was coming from and his eyes met with the knowing eyes of his archaeologist.

Luffy mouthed to her _'What?'_

Robin smiled and mouthed back _'Food.'_

Luffy's eyes widened and his stomach began to rumble. He then withdrew his hands from Nami's waist and began to shake her awake.

"Oi Nami…!"

Her work finished, she began to make her way back towards the kitchen where the rest of the crew were gathering to eat their breakfast.

"Nami…oi…Nami there's food, it's time to eat…Nami…" His whining was becoming more insistent until finally she opened her eyes, only to be met with Luffy's drooling face. Nami then sighed and untangled herself from him.

"Go on…"

Luffy's eyes sparkled as he jumped out of her bed and dashed for the kitchen. It was bound to happen I guess…Luffy did have a one-track mind when it came to food after all.

"SANJI! FOOOOoooooood!" was what was heard as he ran, his voice becoming softer as the distance between them grew. Nami then looked at the empty space that was once occupied by her captain, her hand gliding over the surface.

"He's not here anymore…" She caught herself.

'_Get a grip Nami!'_ She quickly brought her hands up to rest on her arms and hugged herself.

'_It was just a dream…everything's ok now…everything's ok…' _

She then slowly managed to get up and straighten her appearance before she headed out to face the crew, her steps heavy with guilt and worry.

'_How do I greet them?'_

'_What facial expression should I have?'_

'_Should I be happy?'_

All sorts of thoughts muddled her thinking and before she knew it, she had arrived at the kitchen. She slowly rested her hand on the doorknob and began to twist…

'_Happy! I will be happy…!'_ She pushed open the door and was met with 7 pairs of eyes. (A/N: not including Brook right? Because he doesn't have any eyes! SKULL JOKE! )

"Um…Good morning everyone…" Luffy then gave one of his trademark grins.

"OI Nami! Come eat some meat! It's GOOD!" He managed to pat the seat next to him, while still managing to stuff his face. This gesture was rewarded by a swift kick to the head from Sanji.

"YOU MORON! Don't give her any of **your** food! I prepared something extra-special for Nami-swan!" After his scolding ceased, hearts became evident in what should have been his eyes as he looked in Nami's direction.

"Nami-swan, please just wait a moment while I get yours!"

He was talking to me but my mind could only focus on what I saw in my dream…his body's disfigurement and those same eyes that just stared through me…dead…lifeless. His blonde hair was no longer the bright color it used to be, but a deep red color…the color of his blood. I brought myself back to reality, but shuttered momentarily as I responded.

"T-thank you Sanji…" I then began to slowly make my way over to Luffy's side to take a seat, my eyes downcast so as not to meet anymore stares and remember that awful dream. Luffy only managed to flash a lopsided grin my way in return. I remained silent throughout the rest of the meal, lost in my own thoughts. The meal came and went: yelling due to Luffy stealing food, Sanji and Zoro once again engaged in a combat frenzy, and laughter resounding at the antics of their fellow crew mates…everything was normal…so why couldn't I bring myself to be normal too? Why wasn't I scolding Luffy like normal? Why wasn't I interacting with my nakama like normal? Most of all, why wasn't I just being me? WHAT WAS WRONGWITH ME? It was just a dream! As soon as I finished my meal, I excused myself and walked out onto the deck to get some much needed air, not knowing that a pair of ebony eyes followed my figure as I left.

The wind ruffled my hair and I found solace in the comforting atmosphere it provided, I was at peace, at least for a little while anyway. I walked up to my mikan grove and hid myself within the confines of the orchards.

'_Mom…what am I doing?'_ At this point, I must say I was quite the pitiful specimen …freaking out over a nightmare… I should be able to get over it! I was the navigator for the Mugiwara Pirates damnit!

Getting up from my place within the personal labyrinth of mikan orchards, I set out on a search for Robin. It didn't last long as I spotted her heading down to the aquarium with a book in her hand. An image of Robin's mangled body flashed briefly before my eyes but I quickly shook it from my mind.

"Robin!" Hearing her name, she turned in the direction to which the voice came only to be met with the eyes of their navigator.

"Yes, Navigator-san?"

"I can take the log pose now; it is my job after all to navigate this here ship!" I had given the log pose to her when I went into my room for that little while 'map-making.' I needed to retrieve it so I could do my part as crew member. Robin eyed the navigator and seemingly approved of her response, convinced somewhat that she was back to her normal self.

"Very well Navigator-san…" She then proceeded to take the log pose off of her wrist and handed it to Nami.

"Thanks Robin!"

"Not at all…" I then quickly hurried off to my place up on deck so I could read the weather patterns and guide the ship further toward its destination…Luffy's dream of becoming the Pirate King. Making her way over to the grassy plain that was their deck, she sat down in her sun-bathing chair and brought her hand over her eyes.

"(sigh)" This nightmare was seriously wearing her out and she found that she didn't have much energy due to excess amounts of worrying.

"I'm already this tired and the day has only started…what am I gonna do?"

"'Bout what?" That overly hyper voice was unmistakable. Pulling her hand away from her eyes confirmed her suspicions…Luffy…

"Nothing Luffy…I'm just a bit tired…"

"Tired? But the day just started! We're supposed to reach the next island today right? You said so yesterday before you went to your room!" Nami eyed him suspiciously as she tried to remember and then it hit her.

'_I do recall saying something similar…'_

Luffy eyed her expectantly.

"That's right Luffy…the people on the last island said it's only a couple days journey from where their island was, so we should be arriving at Regalia today."

"YAHOOOOOOoooo!" Luffy said while speeding off to his seat upon Sunny's head.

Apparently it was a fairly nice island but it was rumored that there was quite a bit of crime in the more impoverished regions and slums. I was not really looking forward to it…nor did I want to deal with the hassle of divvying out everyone's money to spend.

"(sigh) I suppose this will be a good chance for me to get out and stretch my legs…"

While the recollection of her nightmare still lingered strongly, she realized that everyone was alive and that they were currently immersed into their normal activities…well… normal in the case regarding the Mugiwara crew anyway. Sanji was busy wooing women, Chopper remained in his study, Usopp was busy making ammunition for his Kabuto, Brook was busy singing about the wonders of panties, Robin was reading a book on our next island's history, Zoro remained up in the crow's nest…'training'….Franky was once again engrossed on a new invention and Luffy gazed out at the ocean awaiting the arrival to our next destination…Regalia…

A/N: Thank you to all those that reviewed my first chapter! XD I must say I was quite nervous because I didn't know what kinds of responses I was going to receive…After reading a couple of the reviews I was so happy that Nami's pain could be felt…(Okay now don't get any weird ideas…I'm not a sadist or anything I promise! (-_-;)) When I read stories that involve situations like nightmares, I want to be able to feel the struggle that they are having because then the character becomes more personable, thus causing what you would call…'tear-jerkers.' I won't lie…I have cried reading several fanfictions on this site and those always seem to have an everlasting impression on me! I hope you found chapter 2 enjoyable! Please review and tell me what you think! Good? Bad? Needs some work done to it?


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